Hairloss and me

I hosted a headshave day at home before I lost my hair around the time of my second Chemo.

I wanted to make the experience as light hearted as I could as it was certainly a heavy feeling weighing on my heart.

I listened to people saying, “ its only hair “ “It’ll grow back in no time”  “I shaved my head for the greatest shave” 

It wasn’t just hair to me, I don’t think I knew then exactly why it was such a big deal.

Now I look back and know, its wasn’t really the loss of hair for me, it was the choice, the control or the idea of me having no choice.

It was knowing that every time I looked in the mirror I was reminded of Cancer and all that comes with it.  It means I was different to the rest of my family, I stood out, and everyone else who saw me was slapped in the face with the reality I had Cancer, and the conversations are sometimes different depending on if I had hair or not !

So my life became wigs and headwear, I had drawers of hats, headscarves, turbans and wigs.

I never went out without a headcovering of some sort.

It made me feel “normal” it allowed me to move around in society without everyone knowing I was having chemotherapy .

I could never rock’ the bald head as some women can, I had a wig or headwear on everyday whether I was home or out.

I now still have a drawer full of headwear and often accessorize,  because I can.

Gill x